The point of view (or PoV) that you write in can change the tone and readability of your writing drastically.

The PoV you choose is a lot like … deciding where to set up a Psychic Camera. You, the writer, are only allowed to write what your Psychic Camera can pick up.

Narrator

For convenience sake, I’m going to call the “person we are following around” the “narrator” for this post. Whoever is tied to your Psychic Camera is your Narrator.

Don’t Skull-Hop

Skull-hopping within a single scene is bad*, mmkay?

Skull hopping is when “the person we are following around” suddenly changes and we are treated to thoughts, feelings, or reactions that our narrator would have absolutely know way of knowing. In effect, we have multiple narrators.

“If it was such a simple request, why not do it yourself?” Melanie sank lower in the kitchen chair, setting her chin. She really hated it when her mother got all het up about nothing. She’d gone out and picked up the stupid milk, hadn’t she?

“I thought that since you had the afternoon off, it wouldn’t be too much to ask that you get a gallon of milk so I can make breakfast for you tomorrow.” Edith took another drag of her cigarette. Every day, she vowed to stop smoking, and every day, Melanie gave her plenty of reasons to pull out another cancer stick. That girl would be the death of her.

It’s jarring. Who should we care about? Melanie would know nothing about her mother’s vows to stop smoking and her mother wouldn’t consider her own behavior to be “het up about nothing”.

Back to our Psychic Camera – as a writer, we just detached the camera from Melanie’s shoulder and then slapped it on Edith’s shoulder in the middle of the scene. That’s bad mojo. Our readers need to be able to trust us, and they can’t do that if we keep changing the narrator on them all willy nilly.

First Person

A common choice for PoV is First Person.

“It’s just MILK, mother. What difference does it make?” I dropped the offending jug of the wrong percentage of cow drippings to the table.

“I,” declared my mother with fully dramatic lip-curling, “am on a diet! It matters!”

First person is written as though the narrator is actually the person telling the story.

The Psychic Camera is installed inside their head. At that range, it has full access to all of the person’s thoughts, emotions, and experiences. The emotions, thoughts, and experiences of OTHER people are all filtered through the Narrator’s eyes and biases. All the narrator can do is GUESS at the motivations of the bizarre behaviors of the people around them.

Much like we have to do in our own lives. =]

Third Person

Another common choice for PoV is Third Person. (What happened to Second Person? Don’t ask me, I’m not the one who numbered the things).

Great. Now she was going to be treated to an hour long diatrabe on health, using the crap science her mother picked up from those giggling harpies she met with at the salon every week. Melanie had done her own research about health. Using actual science from actual scientific journals to back it up. For a brief moment, she was tempted to respond with a lesson on macro-nutrients and the difference between carbohydrates and protein, but the urge passed. Her mother never listened to her.

Instead, she stood. The sound of the chair legs grating against the linoleum floor silenced her mother just long enough for her to say, “I’ve decided to become a vegan.”

Third person is written as if the narrator is watching the scene. Instead of “I” “me” and “my”, Third Person has “she” “him” and “hers”.

Our Psychic camera is OUTSIDE the narrator’s head, floating near them like a balloon on a string.

How Long Is Your String?

The TRICK comes in when you realize that there are different depths even within the Third Person umbrella.

Very distant third person gives a piece a vastly different feel.

Little did Melanie know it, but those fateful words were the last ones her mother ever heard.

The most distant third person (the Psychic Camera Balloon is on a very, VERY long string) comes across feeling more like a voice over from an old TV show.

On the other end of the spectrum is my personal favorite, the CLOSE Third Person Point of View (see, your faith in my ability to title my blog posts has been rewarded!).

Her mother’s blue-shadowed eyelids widened and twitched. FINALLY! I’ve finally said something that made it through the thick layers of cigarette smoke, perfume, makeup, and drama to reach her!

Melanie’s smile faded when her mother’s right hand reached up to clutch at her chest, long vinyl fingernails looking more like talons than ever before.

“Mom?” Melanie stepped forward, alarm sending fingers of ice down her spine. “Mom, stop that! It isn’t funny!” She stepped forward and caught her mother just before she collapsed, the still-burning cigarette falling to land on Melanie’s arm. She didn’t even notice the pain, her eyes tracing her mother’s too-pale features as she lowered her to the floor.

Hands shaking, Melanie slid her cellphone from her pocket and dialed 9-1-1. Please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please be okay. I’ll get the right kind of milk, I swear, just be okay.

The string on this particular Psychic Camera Balloon is so short that it’s pretty much attached to the side of her skull. It has a lot of the ELEMENTS of first person, while still maintaining just a little bit of distance.

Why Third Person

If I like Close Third Person so much, why not just write in First Person?

With First Person, you should not skull hop between scenes, either.

The reader gets to know who “I” am. They associate the “I” in this book with that narrator.

With Third Person, the writer is allowed more freedom to have multiple narrators in a single book. Much less confusing to go from “he” to “she” than from “I” to “I”.

There are other, more subtle reasons as well, but they are less concrete. Sometimes, I find myself irritated with “I” narrators who think and feel in ways that are so different than my own. It’s almost as if there’s a tiny voice in the back of my head throwing popcorn at the screen of my mental image of the book, shouting, “No I don’t! I would never! Stop telling me what to think or feel!” Additionally, even close Third Person allows more leeway than first person with regards to things the writer can point out or take note of.

Dangers of Third Person

One of the biggest dangers of Third Person is a wild string.

You must control how far you allow your Psychic Camera to drift throughout every scene in the project. And by “control” I mean “staple that sucker down”. Don’t allow drift between Close and Distant Third Person. I know they’re both technically “Third Person”, but it’s dizzying and confusing for a reader to be batted around like a balloon on a string. Establish the depth of your Point of View early and stick to it.

A Trick

A trick for writing in Close Third Person is to first write the piece in FIRST person, and then go through and edit it. You may end up doing more than simple word replacement (“I” to “She”) but your end result will feel more consistent – you’ll have “stapled” your Psychic Camera Balloon to the side of your character’s head.

Sitting in that bland, plastic waiting room, all I could think about was that stupid milk. This was all the milk’s fault.

I knew that was stupid. It wasn’t really the milk’s fault, but it felt good to blame someone. Better by far than it would feel to think about what the doctor had just told me. Better still than to have to call others and let them know.

“I wish I’d never even bought that stupid milk! I’d give anything to take it back” I said, covering my eyes with my hands.

“Is that so?” purred a low voice.

I looked up, startled to find a tiny man, no larger than my hand, seated on my armrest. He wore a smart green suit with a green felt bowler hat, a tiny wooden pipe held in one hand.

“What…who?”

“I grant wishes, dearie, but only for a price.”  He grinned then, lifting the pipe to bite down on the stem with crooked, yellow teeth.

“What kind of price?” I asked.

turns into

Sitting in that bland, plastic waiting room, all Melanie could think about was that stupid milk. This is all the milk’s fault.

She knew that was stupid. It wasn’t really the milk’s fault, but it felt good to blame someone. Better by far than it would feel to think about what the doctor had just told her. Better still than to have to call others and let them know.

“I wish I’d never even bought that stupid milk! I’d give anything to take it back” she said, covering her eyes with her hands.

“Is that so?” purred a low voice.

Melanie looked up, startled to find a tiny man, no larger than her hand, seated on her armrest. He wore a smart green suit with a green felt bowler hat, a tiny wooden pipe held in one hand.

“What…who?”

“I grant wishes, dearie, but only for a price.”  He grinned then, lifting the pipe to bite down on the stem with crooked, yellow teeth.

“What kind of price?” she asked.

YMMV*

Everyone has their own preference, as a writer AND as a reader, for the PoV they enjoy.

What’s your favorite? (Either to write or to read)

* Skull Hopping CAN be acceptable if the Point of View chosen is a very distant one – an omniscient narrator might be able to “taste” each of the personalities in a scene and lift out knowledge of what’s happening. In my highly biased opinion, this is FAR less fun to read than when an author sticks to a single narrator per scene.

* Your Mileage May Vary

What is Rebel Tales?

Rebel Tales will be a purchasable e-zine (not paper) that will deliver serialized content and short stories to the paying public (as well as having an elite back-stage pass version for those interested in seeing first drafts, interviews, maps, and the sort).

Why Did Holly Make Rebel Tales?

Holly took a look at the publishing industry as it currently stands and decided that it was flawed.

Moreover, she took that declaration a step further and is actively offering a solution.

For Writers

Holly is offering a clear, clean, open payment system for all accepted writing. Money flows to the writer based on sales. If someone buys a copy from two years ago that you wrote in, you still get paid.

Holly is treating published writers and unpublished writers as equals in this. If you’re struggling to get your name known, you have just as much chance of making into the pages of Rebel Tales as someone with five years of published novels under their belt.

For Readers

Holly is being VERY particular, not only in the editors that she’s hiring, but also in the specific details about the kinds and quality of writing she will allow into Rebel Tales. There’s no such thing as a guarantee when personal preference comes to play, but she seems to be taking pains to make sure that she delivers the best quality stories to her readers. This is no offramp for the slush pile rejects that publishers won’t touch. This is for all of the quality writers being pushed aside or abused by the current publishing system.

Status

Rebel Tales is not yet accepting author submissions. Holly is still looking for editors (so if you’re an editor looking for a paying gig, maybe take a peek) but she won’t open the floor for writers until she’s got a solid staff of editors.

That also means the first issue isn’t available for purchase, but it DOES mean that if you’re a writer (or editor) looking for a lifeline, this might be exactly what you’re looking for.

To Learn More

• Base website and short summary
• The War For the Midlist > Why Holly is choosing to do this
• Writer’s Guidelines

I HIGHLY recommend you read more on this. My post is only a high-level review. Holly goes into as much detail as your little heart could want … and then a little bit more. =]

New To Me

The idea is new to me, too – but as far as I can tell, it seems solid. It has Holly Lisle’s name behind it, which counts for a lot in my book. I have a great deal of respect for her, not only as a writer, but also as a TEACHER. She gives a lot of herself for other writers.

I only know what I’ve read, and what I read sounds honest.

I don’t have anything pre-prepared along the guidelines that she’s looking for … but I do have an idea for something I might focus on and submit. It certainly can’t hurt, right?

What helped me? The Snowflake Method, Mr. Moore, and confronting the fears that have been holding me back.

The Snowflake Method

Specifically, a blog post on the Advanced Fiction Writing Blog emphasizing using a five-sentence paragraph to focus on the book’s major plot arc.

Although I recommend checking out the blog and reading more on the Snowflake Method if you’ve never heard of it, I’ll give a bit of a teaser for you here. The five-sentence paragraph is structured as follows (quoted from the website) :

1. Write a sentence to tell who your lead character is and their initial situation in the story.
2. Write a sentence that summarizes the first quarter of the story, ending in a disaster which forces the lead character to make a decision on how she wants the story to end. This defines the Story Question: “Will she get it or won’t she?”
3. Write a sentence that summarizes the second quarter of the book, ending in a disaster which makes it look like the lead character won’t get what she wants.
4. Write a sentence that summarizes the third quarter of the book, ending in an even worse disaster which makes it appear that all is lost.
5. Write a final sentence that summarizes the ending and tells whether the lead character gets what she wants or not.

Trying to write a snowflake method five-sentence paragraph immediately highlighted the weak portion of my outline structure. The framework on either side of the weakness suggested methods I could use to strengthen the saggy middle of my story.

Mr. Moore

Armed with all the planning we’ve already done combined with this new way of looking at the plot, Mr. Moore and I brainstormed during the long car drive up to visit my mom this weekend. Like kids sitting on a mound of legos, we alternately built and tore down several options for fixing the plot hole before finally ripping the whole thing apart and starting from scratch.

I knew the premise that I wanted to start with. The original spark that made me want to write the book. (I wrote that down way back when all this started. Did you?)

From that spark, we began to build.

If THIS is true, what then must be true about this other thing?

We tried fitting various half-constructed plot points into the new structure and if they were weak or did not fit, we discarded them or altered them.

In the end, we emerged with a plot and five-sentence paragraph for a book that feels much more alive than the one we entered the conversation with. We’d re-used some previously discarded characterization options and the modified ending is much more powerful.

Most important of all, the middle no longer sags and sways in the slightest breeze.

Stained now has a spine.

(And no, Mr. Moore is not available for public plot fixing. He’s mine. I saw him first. <3)

Not Gonna Share

I’m not going to share Stained’s five-sentence paragraph.

First off, it’s ridiculously spoilery. Secondly, it’s not been polished enough for public consumption. Thirdly, I am very aware of the fact that it may yet change before Stained becomes publicly available and the last thing I want to do is bombard you with eleven different versions of the thing before it’s complete. Bad enough that I bombard myself with them.

You’ll find some examples (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, among others) on the Advanced Fiction Writing blog.

Never Give Up

I imagine every book will be different and every book will have its own difficulties.

This is NOT the first time I’ve hit a saggy plot middle – but it IS the very first time that I’ve doggedly pursued a fix for the problem. It is the first time I have refused to give in to self doubt, despair, boredom, or the lure of a new idea. It is the first time I have been determined to fully plan out a book before writing it.

I did not abandon Stained, and I believe it will reward my faith long before the journey of this book is complete.

Fear

I am not going to gloss over these past months with Stained. Sure, I’ve been busy with other things in my life, but those were just very convenient excuses.

The main reason Stained hadn’t progressed is because I was afraid. What if I fail? What if I can’t solve this plot problem? What if you guys find out just how much I’ve agonized, how many ideas I’ve tried and tossed out? If I can’t fix this, what makes me think I can be a writer? What makes me think I have a CHANCE at being published?

Failure loomed large in my mind, mocking and hateful.

I did not turn away from it. I didn’t bother trying to deny it or hide from it. Maybe I’ll never be published. Maybe I will fail. Maybe I won’t even get this ready for NaNoWriMo. Maybe I’ll fail at that too. These are very real possibilities. Acknowledging the seed of truth at the center of my fears defused its weaponry against me, because after agreeing with it, I was able to modify my agreement.

I’ll never know for sure if I don’t try. And even if I don’t get published, I will always want to write. I will write. There will be more ideas, more books. Even if Stained becomes a total wash, I am determined to learn from it and my mistakes.

I want to know how to build a book with a solid plot spine, and if YOU, looming fears of failure, are not going to help me, then you can get out of my way.

And they did.

Protection

My fears aren’t my way of trying to sabotage myself. They are my way of trying to PROTECT myself.

Like a parent, obsessively calling a teenage daughter during a weekend party. Don’t drink anything that has an open top and has been out of your sight because you might get slipped a roofie. Don’t get in a car with someone who is drunk behind the wheel. Be careful how you dance with boys, so they don’t think you’ll put out. Watch out for your friends to make sure they’re safe and having fun. Wear a seatbelt. Don’t put on too much lipstick. Those heels are too high and that skirt is too short. Do you have enough money for cab fare in case you need it? You have your cell phone on and fully charged. You’ve got my number, right? Don’t forget to eat. Take an extra change of clothes in case you drip bbq sauce on your shirt. Wear clean underwear. Do you have sunscreen? ….

I will take reasonable precautions, but the only way to be safe is never to live at all. Failure isn’t the worst thing in the world – it’s just a learning experience.

Anything worth having is worth the risk.

Motivation

If you find yourselves in a similar situation – please, don’t give up. If your story seems unfixable or your plot has gotten out of hand or you’ve forgotten why you ever thought this story was worth writing – don’t give up.

Have faith in yourself and have faith in your story.

I could tell you that you don’t suck and that you are a great writer, but we both know I can’t guarantee that. I’ve never even read most of your writing. Furthermore, I still suck from time to time (though thankfully less often than I used to). What makes me qualified to comment on the quality of your writing?

Instead, I will tell you that you WILL improve as a writer BY WRITING.

You will not improve by giving up, abandoning story lines, telling yourself you’ll never make it, or by never facing your weaknesses as a writer.

You will improve by DOING. By writing. By practicing, by sucking, by learning, and by confronting your weaknesses head on.

“Never give up. Never surrender.” ~ Galaxy Quest

“Keep moving forward.” ~ Meet the Robinsons

Opening the Floor

What problems, doubts, or fears have been keeping you from advancing in your goals? It doesn’t even have to be a writing goal – the same cycle of self doubt plagues every facet of our lives.

Do you know what you need to do in order to move forward?