In Which I Dream About Shampoo

March 3, 2011

Okay, so normally I don’t inflict my dreams on you guys

1) I only remember fragments most of the time, and who wants to hear about a FRAGMENT of a dream where I was turned into a zombie by Bruce Willis?

2) I kind of like that you guys see me as mostly sane. The dream where I was escaping a feudal lord through Japan on a horse that sometimes turned into a golf cart would tarnish that shining illusion.

3) Neither of us really has time for all this nonsense.


Last night, I dreamed up an incredibly vivid and real TV commercial for Suave shampoo and conditioner, starring Ellen DeGeneres and I want to share it with you.

Besides, this would totally rock as a commercial.

Ze Commercial

So, fade in to Ellen against an empty white background, with sudsy wet hair. She’s making an “I’m not so sure about this” face. :/

Clip of her with “normal”, pretty shiny hair. She’s sitting on a couch in a comfy-looking room and she’s telling you this story about how Suave asked her to do a commercial for their shampoo and conditioner.

Next clip is her with just wet hair. Again with the :/

Back to the conversation. She mimes a sort of growing gesture on either side of her head, saying she’d agreed, but only if the product can give her full, lustrous hair.

Next clip is zoomed in close on her face, so you can’t see her hair.

As she talks, the camera slowly pans back to reveal more of her hair. “These people,” she explains, “you clearly have to be a little more specific with. If you say you want big hair, they give you big hair.”

The camera pans back all the way and you can see her with this GIANT mane of glorious hair, out in all directions at least a foot. She’s wearing some kind of drapey gown accented with glittering rhinestones and bling (heh, BadKitteh knows where THAT aspect came from) . A few scarf-lengths of the jeweled bits actually cross up over her shoulder and become part of the hairdo.

She looks striking and awesome and somehow gorgeous instead of ridiculous, but crimunettlies, that’s SOME kind of hairdo. She’d have to turn and walk sideways just to go through a doorway.

Anyway, the commercial ends with a quick product promo shot and the Suave Logo.

After it fades to black, dreaming-me is treated to a behind-the-scenes interview with the hairstylist (a hefty woman with really pretty brown hair, long and curly) who grins mischievously and explains how she did the hairstyle and how much fun it was when Ellen finally saw what they’d done.

That’s It

Well, for the commercial. I remember spending the rest of the dream as part of a team of three horse-riding bank robbers, trying to escape the law with our ponies through some heavy industrial cargo area slash Wild West hotel room and saloon. At the end, I was saved from drowning by a mermaid.

(Again, you see why I don’t normally blog about my dreams)

Your turn!

Any fun dreams (or even fragments of dreams) that you’ve had lately that you’d like to share? All bets are off. I pulled out the transforming golf cart horse thing, so you’re free to discuss anything you wouldn’t be ashamed of my Grandmother or a little kid reading.


  • Marianne March 3, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Well, my pregnancy nightmares have officially started. Couple weeks ago, we were staying the night at the in-laws, and I had a *very vivid* dream that I was pregnant with about a dozen eyeballs, and my Dr (Dr House, yay -_-) thought it was all *VERY INTERESTING* and totally not noticing I was getting more and more upset (eyeballs?! where’s the *baby*??)

    Otherwise, I have pretty vivid dreams in general, also reoccurring themes. Like Chicago. I used to dream *all the time* that I was lost, wandering around Chicago. I have no idea why my subconscious has focused on that place specifically, it’s always definitely Chicago.

    Last night I dreamed that I was on a road trip and driving my big truck across the snow in reverse because I’d missed my turn down a tiny dirt road to the fair I was gonna stop at. When I got there, it was a few fair-food booths and a bunch of Mongolian pony riders playing that weird soccer-on-horseback game that they do. It was actually pretty entertaining.

    • Tami March 3, 2011 at 9:08 am

      Yet ANOTHER thing us non-pregnant folks don’t hear about.

      Pregnancy nightmares? That’s normal? Because holy cow, I will dream about zombie Bruce Willis ALL NIGHT (rawr…minus the zombie bit) but that whole “pregnant with eyeballs” thing is creepy beyond creepy. (Any Dragon Age fans in the crowd? It’s “Cah-reeh-pay”)

      Love the Mongolian pony riders thing. That’s awesome.

      • Marianne March 3, 2011 at 9:13 am

        Well, when you think about it… your hormones are going crazy, your belly is moving weirdly so you’re constantly aware that SOMETHING is there, and you’re pretty stressed/excited/nervous/what have you. Your attention is not just focused, it’s captured.

        Is it a surprise you dream about it? And when tension is high, those dreams are bad?

        But I don’t know specifically common it is. I just know anecdotally that I’ve heard about pregnancy dreams from relatives.

        Like my mom dreaming she was giving birth do a baby that had a dog head, and no one but her noticing anything was amiss.

        Or my cousin upon learning she was going to have a C-Section dreaming that they were chasing her with a giant pair of those staple-pullers, trying to pull the baby out her belly with them.

        But yeah, seeing my belly full of eyeballs on the little black and white ultrasound monitor (moving eyeballs, even) was fucking creepy as hell. Needless to say I woke up from that dream and didn’t go back to sleep.

        • Tami March 3, 2011 at 9:17 am

          Yeah, no kidding. Sleep is not really an option at that point. O.O

          • KristenSue March 4, 2011 at 12:55 pm

            I’ve had dreams where I’m aware that I’m pregnant, but none that focuses on being pregnant and definately none involving the labor or delivery. I have a few more weeks to go, so maybe this will initiate such dreams :/

            My ‘i’m pregnant in my dreams’ dreams always involve some sort of physical activity that I have to say “I shouldn’t be doing this, I’M PREGNANT!” : soccer, ice hockey, trying to escpae from a cultish magnet school…

      • Brad-o March 5, 2011 at 1:33 am

        Pregnancy dreams/nightmares are a real, normal thing in pregnant women. Brook’s had some, but I’m not going any further than that. ;)

        • Tami March 5, 2011 at 1:27 pm

          It definitely makes SENSE to have pregnancy nightmares. I just never really thought of it.

          • Brad-o March 5, 2011 at 9:01 pm

            “Pregnancy is the most unnatural natural thing.”

  • Steve – Kestrel's Aerie March 3, 2011 at 12:11 pm

    I only write about other (imaginary) people’s dreams. :P

    My dreams are generally only fragments, too. Although one did form the genesis of a story I may yet return to someday.

    Way more often than I like, I dream about driving, and not being able to stop before I hit another car (like, in a parking lot, or a winding road).

    My wife was pregnant three times: I don’t recall having any particular nightmares during any of those. Nor do I remember her having bad dreams, either!

    • Tami March 3, 2011 at 1:38 pm

      Mr. Moore dreams about “real” things a lot. Real people, real places. He’s also himself in most of his dreams.

      I rarely dream of real things, and am rarely myself. I wonder if there’s a gender gap there, or something else.

  • Courtney March 3, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    Oh man, that’s a good one XD

    All of my dreams are so vague and weird that I probably couldn’t even BEGIN to tell you what they were about. Plus, they’re not vivid enough to remember I guess?

    Anyway, the big hair thing reminded me of that a friend linked to me. I was seriously in tears laughing at this, because Tom Hanks is amazing.

    The fact that Ellen was in your dream is cracking. me. up. XD

    • Tami March 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm

      *grin* I don’t normally dream about real people. Why Ellen? (aside from the fact that she’s awesome). Why shampoo? Why Suave?

      …who knows?

      This is all, by the way, indirectly related to Codeword: Buckethead, by the way. *evil grin*

  • Mother of Three, Anne March 4, 2011 at 7:52 am

    I mostly can only remember fragments of dreams, but I do know that I very, very rarely have nightmares. And my nightmares are pretty tame, mostly along the lines of Steve’s dreams, with the addition of bridges that I will fly off of while driving an uncontrolled vehicle. No blood and gore ever, just the great apprehension of looming disaster from not being able to control a car.

    I did not suffer nightmares with pregnancy, or even an increase in vivid or detailed dreams. I think I just slept deeply, because I was tired a lot.

    I do not think the differences between your dreams and Mr. Moore’s are related to gender. I think you dream stories because you THINK stories. Stories about unicorns and talking gophers, with magical pixie fairies dusting the landscape. I never think of those things, because I am bound by logic, and I rarely dream fanciful things. I tend to dream real people, real places, real things in strange and unexplained story lines.

    • Tami March 4, 2011 at 10:28 am

      That’s a very interesting point. Mr. Moore is my co-writer – we world-build together and he comes up with some of the coolest stuff, so I’m not sure if it’s 100% accurate. He does approach worldbuilding from a different perspective than I do, though, so I’m not discounting it.

      I’ve had a couple dreams about losing control when trying to stop at a stoplight before. those are unfun because I sometimes wake up wondering if they were real or not.

      I prefer the ones where I can be, “no, definitely not a zombie. Whew. Just a dream”

  • Mother of Three, Anne March 4, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    On a related but different note, Jake was asking me the other morning if you can have a function that repeats (that would be a math question there.) I told him I was uncertain, because I was not current on functions in math.

    “But if I can imagine it, can’t it be true?”

    long, long pause

    “With math, you are bound by logic, so it is not necessarily true that just because you can imagine it, it can be true. Buildings and bridges begin to crumble at a certain point, even if you can imagine them bigger and longer. BUT, otherwise, I think if you can imagine it, it can be true. Look at all the things that have been imagined over time that have come to realization.”

    Enter daVinci, StarTrek, man on the moon, the Hubble telescope. Another long, long pause.

    “Well, it is time to start imagining!”

    I have the impression that Mr. Moore imagines along realistic lines. All the big “What if we had one of these?” and “Wouldn’t it be cool if..” types of things. Things that are somehow based in the known, with elements of unknown. I think you imagine all the quirky unkown things that are pure fantasy. I could be wrong about all that.

    Which brings me to another conversation Jake and I had. He asked some sort of equally obtuse question one morning, to which I responded, “Just go ahead and ask me whether Superman or the Hulk would win in a ninja battle, because that question is more relevant to my life.”

    • Tami March 4, 2011 at 5:14 pm


      *coff, coff*

      Mr. Moore and I regularly play the "which superhero would win in a fight" game. Matter of fact, he, I, his brother, and his brother's daughter all have superhero armies.

      For fictional wars.


  • KristenSue March 4, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    The most recent and vivid full dream I had was a nightmare. It was presented as a thriller/horror movie, involved a hooded deamon bad guy, winning the D&D/LARP game or dieing, mute albino floating men in suits (also bad guys), and Jim & Pam from The Office.

    I could give more details, but it took me a long time to stop feeling oogly about it.

    • Tami March 4, 2011 at 5:14 pm

      Yikes! That’s pretty scary stuff. I hope LBB doesn’t turn out to be a scary movie lover!

  • Brad-o March 5, 2011 at 2:06 am

    Nice! I feel like I should have something to contribute here, but I can’t seem to come up with anything that’s memorable, much less appropriate (I couldn’t even tell you my sexy dreams of sexy sex because I don’t remember anything specific about them). So, instead of anything specific about a dream, you get something semi-related. ;)

    I used to have nightmares periodically as a kid, most of them recurring and only one that was actually disturbing, but then I started being able to control my dreams. That was fun for awhile, but I started developing this habit of letting my dreams run uncontrolled, just to see what would happen. If I didn’t like the outcome, I would rewind the dream and take a different avenue. I still do that today with most of my dreams (unconsciously, haha). Sometimes I’ll run uncomfortable situations, like bumping into an old girlfriend from a bad breakup, over and over to see what the best outcome would be. Because of this, I rarely have nightmares anymore, but, when I do, they usually haunt me for days or weeks afterwards.

    • Tami March 5, 2011 at 1:28 pm

      They say having lucid/controlled dreams is a good thing.

      Never having had them myself, I prefer to think of them as WEIRD.


      • Brad-o March 5, 2011 at 9:18 pm

        Who are “they”? In any case, I don’t dream “as lucidly” as I used to because I got pretty bored doing it. Lately, it’s more like, I reserve the right to edit the dream or wake myself up from it. But in high school, I could tell what time it was while dreaming (I kept my “in-dream” wrist watch synchronized with my alarm clock and woke myself up 60 seconds (with me counting one “one-thousand, two one-thousand…”) before my alarm went off).

        I think there’s a way to force them by trying to dream the same thing every night — it’s also been a decent technique to help me fall asleep. Basically, you just try and remember the dream while you lay down with your eyes closed.

        Also, yo’ momma’s so weird, Lady Gaga said, “DAAAYUMMMMM!!!”

        • Tami March 5, 2011 at 10:28 pm

          Are you high right now?

          Also, “they” is “them” as in…”the them they”.


          I don’t even HAVE an internal clock, let alone have power over it.

          I stand by my previous conclusion that you are weird. Wonderfully weird, but still weird.


          • Brad-o March 6, 2011 at 1:41 pm

            You’re just asking that because of that Cheech and Chong movie idea. ;) Brook claims I’m high about 25% of the time, even though I’ve never “done drugs”.

            Thanks for clearing that up, btw. Are you sure “they” didn’t get you high before you answered? ;)

  • Lola November 11, 2011 at 1:32 am

    Your dreams may serve to be just a reminder and nothing more than that. But if you think it’s more than that then better do something for it.