A Terrible Analogy
I have a long and sordid history of using terrible analogies to try and explain something. Today will be no different.
Blog comments are like a handshake.
Some of them are quick, nervous, and a little on the clammy side. That’s okay, we’ve all been there, especially if we’re meeting someone that we respect or are trying to make a good impression on. I’m sure those folks’ve been on both the giving and receiving end of a nervous handshake before. Time and interaction will turn that handshake into a warm, welcoming, and friendly gesture.
Some comments are like a handshake between old friends, loose and comfortable, and perhaps accompanied by a good-natured clasp of the shoulder and a bit of ribbing.
Some comments, of course, are unpleasant. The person giving the handshake has a buzzer in their hand, or maybe they spit in their palm first (and aren’t five years old trying to seal a deal). Perhaps they’ve recently enjoyed some chocolate pretzels (bonus points for the movie reference).
Behaviors
I think that in today’s blog-heavy internet, it can be all too easy to over-analyze commenting. I know I’ve done it. I’ve been guilty of being irritated or hurt that someone didn’t reply to a comment. I’ve waited to comment until I had something interesting posted on my blog, so if they followed my link back, they’d be more impressed by me (the blogging equivalent of “freshening up” before meeting someone famous).
I’ve held my silence in comments because I admire the blogger, and don’t feel that I could possibly comment in a meaningful and amusing enough way to catch the blogger’s attention. I’ve commented in the hopes of getting more traffic to my site.
I’ve commented in anger. I’ve commented in self-defense. I have completely and totally disallowed myself from commenting on my own blog out of fear.
I’ve commented just to let someone know that I read their comment and appreciated it (actually, I do this a lot – it’s part of my personal philosophy on comments).
Summary
If comments are like handshakes, then maybe I should stop with the over analyzing. If someone says something I feel I want to comment on, I shouldn’t stop and run through a thousand scenarios in my head before I decide to say something.
I believe there are things bloggers can do to encourage commenting, but I also believe that, as a commenter, I shouldn’t sweat the details.
I should give that blogger my warmest smile, shake their hand, say my thank you, and consider that to be a meaningful exchange.
Question
How do YOU guys view comments? Do you find yourself with a different philosophy as a blogger than you do as a commenter? Do you over think your comments on other blogs?
I like your handshake analogy, except I see them more as high fives. Oftentimes, when my comment goes unresponded, I sometimes can’t help but feel I was left high and dry. And I feel bad as a blogger whenever I leave those who comment on my blog ‘high and dry,’ so I try to respond to as many comments as possible.
@Krizzlybear
*laughs* I love the high five thing, and not just because I mentally envision some bloggers as businessmen at a meeting, and the thought of them having a line of folks waiting to high five them in their three-piece suit is AWESOME.
I have a pretty awesome three-piece suit. Now I’m envisioning myself blogging with a three-piece suit on, sitting at my desk, giving high-five comments to other people across the internet, people who I can imagine are wearing suits as well.
*suddenly pictures tami in a business suit*
oh dear, now i’ve gone all flustered.
@Krizzlybear
*giggles* I do wear business suits on occassion. Today, though, I’m wearing brown tweed pants, a dark brown knit shirt and a brown striped suit vest.
I’m moving my wardrobe to business/steampunk. ^_^
dammit tami. first the business attire, now steampunk? you’re killin me here! the nail in the coffin would probably be the chinese dress, a pair of glasses, and the chopsticks to tie up the hair. oh my blood hell i can’t stop blushing for the life of me ;_;
@krizzlybear
<3
I actually really like your analogy and would add another option to it. Some folks’ comments are like the overbearing, squeeze your hand until you can’t feel it anymore, handshake. I’ve had my fair share of those and, honestly, never really know how to respond to them. Do I squeeze back or do I just politely wait until they let go and then just move on?
As for commenting on other blogs, I try to be as casual as I can. There are many blogs I admire greatly but I try to keep in mind they are just people just like me and, just like me, they spout ideas and thoughts and whatnot.
Ailis´s last blog ..Excuse Me While I Pontificate
You… You mean I’m not the only one?
I always felt I was a little childish for breathlessly waiting for a reply I never got, or felt frustrated that something didn’t get commented on. On the same side, I’ve felt sheepish to reply to a reply in fear of sounding inane and overall rather uninteresting. Leave early while you’re still cool, sorta thing I suppose.
It’s good to know you’re not alone. X3
HOWEVER, if I feel very comfortable with the blogger in question I will very often comment with something that doesn’t even have anything to do with the original subject.
Berry and nut pancakes. Aren’t they just the best?
Ciggu´s last blog ..RUSH LIMBAUGH REFUSES SWINE FLU VACCINE, CDC EXPLAINS THAT AS A SWINE, HE NEEDS IT MORE THAN ANYONE!
@Ailis
QFT. <3
@Ciggu
*laughs* Definitely not alone on the commenting. Ailis’ advice is some of the best I’ve heard. “There are many blogs I admire greatly but I try to keep in mind they are just people just like me…”
My active blog does not survive without comments. It’s like a treasure chest every day! I love it!
For others, I try to make comments to acknowledge that I’m reading and appreciating. Sometimes that means a short sentence. But sometimes I make really long comments that ramble on and on and change topics and go out on tangents. I like to leave voicemails like that too. It’s like, if they’ve gone through all the effort of dialing voicemail, typing in the passcode, listening to other boring messages saying “Yo, call me back” it might delight them to hear “Hey TamiJean, it’s me, KristenSue. I’m calling you back about that new business idea. I would love to be Chief Engineer of ‘Muffins and Waffles: Snacks for All!’ It’s a fabulous idea and will bring joy to millions. I believe singing cats should be in all the commericals. Who doesn’t love cats?!?! Well, those aren’t the sort of people we want eating Muffins and Waffles: Snacks for All! Talk to you later, bye!”
right?
~cackles with delight~
Doh, can’t believe you made that reference from “Mall Rats” @.@ Just…. just wow… *chuckles* That’s awesome….
@KristenSue
Your active blog rocks my socks. <3
Also, I think I could wrangle Assistant Engineer, but I don't think I'm qualified for the position of Chief Engineer.
Best. Message. Ever.
@Byrd
Ha! You got the quote! *cheer*
What, you’re supposed to think about what you say when you comment? Shoot, I almost always go with the first irreverent thing that pops into my head. Of course, playing the orc made it easier. Maybe I should re-evaluate how I do this?
Naw.
Michael´s last blog ..Knee Deep In Financial Documents…
@Michael
Did you miss the bit where overthinking comments was a BAD idea? *laughs* Orc away, my good man. Orc away.
Also, hello! I didn’t know you were watching here. ^_^
A little bit late to the party…we’ve been on the road Tues/Wed, and I’m just now catching up.
Love your analogy, but even more, I like the approach to discussing comments from a totally different angle! You know I’ve discussed comments several times, but I think you really have nailed how both bloggers and commenters view comments.
I do view my blog as a place to have a conversation, of sorts, so I make an earnest effort to respond to almost every comment. And the more often someone comments on my blog (as in, n > 1), the more likely I am to reply. (However, don’t think I don’t respond to first commenters, because I do, almost always!)
Now, I comment on your sites a lot because mostly, you’re a friend and I enjoy talking to you. But I also enjoy interacting with YOUR community, many of whom are part of “my” blog community too. So, to some extent, our (collective) comment threads are a traveling coffee klatch (or cocktail party).
Bottoms up!
Steve´s last blog ..Recommended Reading: October 19-25
@Steve
It’s definitely easier on BOTH ends to reply to friends in comments.
I also like to view comment threads as an actual conversation, and I try to foster discussion on my blogs. And when you’ve got friendships among bloggers, you often do find that venn diagram of blog communities.
I love the “traveling coffee klatch” idea! *grins*
I’ll comment if I have something meaningful to say – or if someones asked a question that I can contribute to – I will also comment just to say I lol’ed because I liked what they wrote, and while I could add nothing more, felt it important to let the author know I was reading and they made an impact .
Zahrah´s last blog ..That Pvp Experience – now on my realm.
@Zahrah
That’s pretty much how I feel, as well, as far as the giving of comments. I do a lot of lurking, and not so much commenting unless I feel I have something to contribute. =]
Byrd beat me to the Mall Rats reference…how I can still eat chocolate pretlels after watching that movie I don’t know. Remembering that scene makes me think it will be awhile before I do so again!
I have only recently started replying to comments on my site – I love it when people comment but always felt it was invasive to respond (I didn’t want to scare anyone away with my eager over-friendliness). But now I have begun to view them more as you said – conversations. So sometimes I’ll chime in if it seems a commenter has a question or something they wrote begs attention.
I had someone comment about how they had taken offense to something I wrote a month or so ago…and I didn’t get mad or try to defend myself…I had said my peace and now so did they…life moves on and someone pass the beer nuts.
Side note – if you have decided to do NaNo, I’d love to add you as a buddy!
Mama Nice/Drama Mama´s last blog ..Label it Spooky
@Mama Nice
I think I’m gonna pick which of your pseudonyms to reply to based on how wicked your comment is. *grins*
Congrats on not taking a comment personally! That’s an awful lot harder than most people give it credit for.
I love knowing that a blogger got and liked a comment I left as a commenter, so as a blogger I try and reply the same way. Ah, golden rule, how do I love thee?
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